Shared Connections

In a small group, find three things you all have in common that nobody could tell just by looking at you.

Players 4–40 (best with 8–24)
Play time 10–20 min
Materials No materials
Movement Standing optional

Quick rules

Form groups of three or four, ideally with people you know least.
You have four minutes to find three things you all share.
Nothing visible counts — not clothes, not "we are all at this party".
Each group shares its most surprising connection with the room.

Set up

Ask people to form groups of three or four. Suggest mixing — different families, different generations, different friendship circles.
Explain what counts: a connection must be true of every person in the group, and it must not be visible or obvious. 'We all have hair' does not count. 'We have all broken the same bone' does.
Give two or three examples of the kinds of topic that tend to work — food, places, first jobs, small habits.
Set a timer for four minutes.

How to play

When the timer starts, each group talks freely, looking for things all its members share.
A connection only counts if it is true of everyone in the group. Two out of three is not enough.
A connection must not be something visible, nor something true of everybody in the room.
Groups aim for three connections. A group that reaches three early should look for a fourth that is more unusual.
When the timer ends, each group chooses its single most surprising connection.
Going round the room, one speaker per group announces their connection in a sentence.
For a second round, form new groups, with nobody from your first group if possible.

How the game ends

The game ends after the share-back. Two rounds with different groups are plenty — the purpose is to give people something to talk about for the rest of the event, so stop while the room is still noisy. There is no winner, though the host can ask for applause for the most unexpected connection.

Playing seated

Form groups from people who are already sitting near each other, instead of asking everyone to mingle. When groups are remixed for the second round, only those who are comfortable moving need to change seats.

Tips for the host

Walk round during the four minutes. A group that is stuck usually needs only a single topic — suggest "worst holiday" or "first job".
State plainly that nobody has to share anything they would rather not. Trivial connections are the best kind.
With several generations in the room, ask each group to include at least two age groups.
Keep the share-back brisk. One sentence per group — the stories can continue over food.

Variations

Uncommon ground. In addition to three shared things, each group looks for one thing that is true of exactly one member and nobody else in the group. It gives every person a moment of being interesting.

Connection chain. After the share-back, each group tries to find one link with the group next to it, and so on round the room, until there is a chain running through the whole party. It makes a good closing moment for a large reunion.

Starter ideas: Conversation nudges

Foods you all refuse to eat
A chore you all secretly enjoy
Something none of you has ever done
First jobs
Things you were all afraid of as children
A place you have all been
Something you have all lost and never found
Skills you all lack
A habit you all share in the morning
Something you all learned later than most people
Weather you all love or all dislike
Something you have all broken
An item you all own and never use
A food you all eat in the same odd way

Times are editorial estimates, not test results. Editorially checked for clarity and consistency. We do not claim group playtesting for this page.